


baby dier

by Anonymous



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-02 06:49:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18805912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: When he was no longer crying he was cute, blinking up at Dele with enormous blue eyes. Dele froze, peering down at the baby. He’d know those eyes anywhere.“Dier?” He whispered.





	baby dier

Sometimes, Eric stayed over at Dele’s because Dele lived closer to work than Eric did. When they had to be up super early it made sense - rather than driving the extra forty minutes across London, Eric would just pass out in Dele’s spare room, and he’d get an extra few minutes of sleep in the morning. It always improved his day. 

Dele said goodnight to Eric around 10pm, getting up from the sofa and rolling his neck. He knew Eric would turn off the lights and lock the doors, and he mumbled a “Night, mate,” before he disappeared up the stairs, brushing his teeth and getting into bed. He heard Eric on the stairs shortly after, the sound of the spare room door clicking shut, and he fell into a deep, deep sleep. 

*

Dele’s alarm woke him at 6:30 on the dot. He rolled out of bed and into the shower, eyes bleary with sleep. Usually Eric was up at the same time, fussing about in the kitchen or banging on the bathroom door and telling Dele to hurry up. He was tired last night though, must be needing a couple extra minutes. Dele resolved to knock on his door if he wasn’t up in ten and went off to his own room to get dressed. 

When the time reached 6:45 and they had fifteen minutes to be out the door and off to work, Dele stood outside the spare room and rapped his knuckles against the wood softly at first. There was no sound so he banged harder, and then froze - he could wear he heard a child. Eric must’ve been lying in bed watching videos of his nephews and he was going to make them both fucking late. Dele wasn’t getting fined on Eric’s behalf, no chance, so he threw caution to the wind and pushed the door open. 

In the middle of the big double bed was a fucking baby. 

Dele screamed at the top of his lungs, a high pitched shriek that made the baby look over at him in surprise and burst into tears, its screams drowning out Dele’s. Dele cursed under his breath and moved toward it in panic, glancing around for Eric. There was no sign of him, just this bloody child that was bawling its eyes out, Eric’s phone still on the night stand, his shoes still at the end of the bed. Dele gingerly picked up the kid and held it in front of him at arms length, nervously shushing it. It was definitely a little boy, and he had tufty blonde hair, the chubbiest little croissant arms and legs Dele had ever seen, a round little belly. Dele had been around babies before but he didn’t have a clue what he was doing, christ, he didn’t have the first bloody idea. 

The little baby wouldn’t stop wailing, the sound of it setting Dele on edge. He felt his own tears brewing as he held the little man before him. It struck him that babies liked cuddles, so he brought the child in and held him against his chest, bouncing him in his arms slightly. The little boy seemed to settle then, pressing his face into Dele’s shoulder and quietening down to a gurgle. 

Dele let out a sigh of relief, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He carefully moved the child to perch him on his knees, observing him carefully. When he was no longer crying he was cute, blinking up at Dele with enormous blue eyes. Dele froze, peering down at the baby. He’d know those eyes anywhere. 

“Dier?” He whispered, his heart racing. The baby continued to stare at him, his eyes still watery from his earlier tears. Dele lifted the baby up and turned him around carefully, searching - and there, on the back of his leg, was the cat shaped birth mark Eric had that Dele affectionately called Garfield. 

Holy fucking shit. 

Dele nearly dropped him. He stood up and put baby Eric down on the middle of the bed again, repeating the word fuck continually under his breath, his heart racing. Was he dreaming? He had to be dreaming. Dele slapped himself across the face and baby Eric laughed, his mouth opening in a gummy smile that, if he wasn’t having a break down, Dele would describe as adorable. 

He had to get to work though, and he didn’t have the first clue how to take care of a baby. He needed one of the boys to help him out, one with kids. Someone else would know what to do. Dele lifted up Eric’s shirt from the floor and wrapped the baby in it, picking him up again and carrying him downstairs, trying not to all out have a panic attack. Eric was gurgling away in his arms, his little blonde head moving as he peered around to take in their whereabouts. 

Dele had a car seat under the stairs, one his sister had left, and he had no idea if it was the right size, no idea how to set it up in the car, but he had to get to work. He couldn’t wait this one out. Dele fumbled about with the chair, the baby and his keys, somehow managing to get the front door locked and the car door open. Dele put the seat in backwards like he’d seen his sister do then put Eric down in it, fussing with the straps. Eric was a huge baby, and Dele couldn’t quite get them fastened properly. He cursed again and decided it was going to have to do - he was late, he was stressed, and he needed to see another human being ASAP. 

He drove through London at 15 mph, terrified of doing anything that would result in bringing harm to the bloody baby in the back of his car. After a while Eric started to get fussy, grumbling and kicking his legs furiously, and Dele nearly burst into tears, saying “We’re nearly there, buddy! Don’t do this to me!” 

Dele’s car careened into the Spurs car park forty minutes late for practice. Baby Eric was crying again, and Dele tore out of the car, grabbed the baby and jogged into the building, holding Eric in a way that was comfortable for neither of them and only seeming to worsen the tears. By the time he reached the locker rooms Dele was crying himself, holding Eric out at arm’s length and bursting into the room with an undignified “Help me!” 

Everyone looked up at Dele and the baby at the same time. Dele approached Jan like he was holding a bomb and pushed the baby into his arms, visibly relaxing when he was no longer responsible for keeping Eric alive. 

“What is going on?” Jan asked incredulously, looking down at the chubby little man in his arms. He knew how to hold a baby properly, it was clear, and he turned Eric so that he was facing inwards, holding him to his chest and rubbing a soothing hand up and down his little back. “Where did this come from?” 

“Alright - I know this is mental,” Dele said, breathless, one hand on his hip and the other stretched out in front of him. “But when I went to wake up Eric this morning, that was in his bed. No sign of him, just his clothes and that baby.” Everyone was staring at him like he was mad. “Just look at him - it’s fucking Eric!” Jan lifted up the baby and looked at him closely, his eyes narrowing. “Check the birth mark!” Dele insisted, waving his hand at the baby’s leg. 

Jan looked, and there, indeed, was the little patch of darkened skin on the back of his leg. “Holy fuck!” 

“I know!” 

“You’re joking,” said Kane, coming over and inspecting the baby. “This has to be a prank. It’s not funny if it is, Del.” 

“I swear on my niece’s life I’m being deadly serious.” 

They were all surrounding the child then, absolutely fascinated. Eric was passed from player to player as they all checked and confirmed Dele’s story, chattering animatedly, looking at each other nervously. Baby Eric was soon grumbling again, not enjoying being passed around like a joint at a party. He started making grabby hands for Dele and Hugo handed him over dutifully, Eric pressing his chubby cheeks into Dele’s neck and clinging on with tiny fists. 

“That’s Dier alright,” Kieran said. 

“What is going on?” A voice called suddenly. They all looked around at Poch, who was tapping his wrist. “We have work to do!” 

“Eric Dier’s turned into a baby!” Winks squeaked, pointing at the baby dozing off in Dele’s arms. 

“Stop being ridiculous,” Poch snapped, clapping his hands. “Dele! Why have you brought a child to work? We have game today!” 

“It really is Dier,” Dele said, looking at Poch pleadingly. “We aren’t even joking. I wish it was a joke.” 

Poch came over and looked at the baby, his eyes wide. “How - why -“ 

“I don’t know,” Dele said. “I just woke up and he was like this.” 

“Who am I going to play in midfield?!” Poch shrieked. “Winks is injured!” 

The tone of Poch’s voice made the baby startle in Dele’s arms, and he bounced Eric a little bit, rubbing on his back the way he’d seen Jan do. “I don’t know,” Dele said. “But there’s nothing we can do about this, unfortunately.” 

“We need to get a nappy on him,” Jan said suddenly, taking charge. “And some clothes. Winks, go to the stadium shop over the road and get a baby kit, will you? I have nappies in the car.” 

“I don’t know how to put a nappy on!” Dele croaked, feeling very much out of his depth. “I don’t even know what he’s supposed to eat!” 

“I’ve got formula and a carrier in the car,” Kane offered, putting a reassuring hand on Dele’s shoulder. “We’ll all help out.” 

The boys went off to get the supplies, leaving Dele and the rest of his teammates staring awkwardly at the now sleeping baby in Dele’s arms. 

“Okay. Everyone who doesn’t have something to contribute to this disaster, outside,” Poch said, banging his hands on the table in the centre of the room. “The rest of you, meet us out there. Let’s go!” 

They all traipsed out, some of them patting Dele or baby Eric reassuringly and giving Dele sympathetic looks. Dele was left on his own for only a few moments before Jan was back holding a bag of nappies and some baby wipes. 

“Carry these in every car,” he said, putting them down on the table top. “Can never be too careful.” 

“How do you do it?” Dele asked. 

Jan smiled and laid out a towel on the table top, patting it for Dele to put down the baby. 

“Is it safe?” Dele asked hesitantly. “Shouldn’t we do it on the floor?” 

“He’ll be fine,” Jan said, prising the baby out of Dele’s arms. “Won’t you, little man?” 

Baby Eric stirred as he left Dele’s arms, his eyebrows tugging down into a little frown. “I’m still here,” Dele said, giving a finger for Eric to hold onto. “You needy little idiot.” 

“Hey, Del, he’s a baby,” Jan scolded, removing the t-shirt Dele had wrapped the baby in that morning. “Be nice.” 

Jan showed Dele how to wrap a nappy around Eric’s body, making it look easier than it was. Dele nodded like he knew but he didn’t have a clue, wasn’t sure how Jan had got Eric in it that quickly, and what was he supposed to do when the thing was full of poo or pee was spraying everywhere?! This was a nightmare. 

Jan picked Eric up off the towel and bounced him on his forearm for a few moments before Kane returned with a box of formula and a baby carrier. The pair of them explained bottles and powders to Dele at length, telling him he’d need to go to the kitchen and ask for help heating it up. Dele looked at the baby in Jan’s arm and had to sit down for a minute, overwhelmed. He couldn’t take care of a fucking baby! He had no idea what was going on. 

Then Harry was back, a white plastic Spurs bag in his hand. “I got a couple, I wasn’t sure what would fit,” he said, opening the bag. He produced a baby away kit that had Eric’s surname name on the back, a white terry towel onesie with the spurs logo on the feet and a packet of bibs. 

“Er - the onesie?” Dele said, taking it out of Harry’s hands and turning it over. “Cheers, Winksy.” 

Dele handed the clothes to Jan, who placed Eric down on the counter again and put his little legs into the leg holes, his arms in the arm holes, zipping him up. He looked cute, it was undeniable, his big blue eyes peering around at them all, his mouth moving in a stream of happy babbles. 

“Should we phone his mum?” Dele said suddenly. “Like - should be back with his parents?” 

“I guess so,” Kane said, shrugging. “Maybe tomorrow once the game’s over. I’ll help you sort it all out, see about bringing him to her.” 

“Cheers, H.” 

Dele picked up Eric and put him down in the carrier Harry had brought in. They strapped him up and carried him with them out to the field, where they took turns sitting beside him whilst the others went out and did set pieces. 

At lunch time Dele had the kitchen staff prepare him a bottle and he let Jan position Eric in the crook of his arm so that he could drink it easily. His little chubby paws held onto the bottle in Dele’s hands as he drank, staring up at Dele the entire time. Dele’s stomach was rumbling but he had to feed the baby first, he knew. When Eric had finished the bottle, Toby took Eric out of Dele’s arms and lay him on his stomach across his own knees, propping his face so that his neck was resting between his thumb and forefinger and rubbing rhythmically on his back. 

Dele watched in awe as the little baby brought up wind several times before Toby decided he was done, turning him back over and pulling silly faces at him whilst Dele ate. Dele watched as they passed him around again - Eric hated being with Winks, probably because he was holding him wrong, and he hated being with Sonny, who clearly hated being with him, but it was Dele the baby wanted, head craning around after a while, face beginning to crumple. 

Tripps gave the baby over to Dele once he’d finished his lunch. Eric snuggled in and drifted off to sleep almost instantly, and it made the dads around the table laugh knowingly. 

“He’s an easy baby,” Harry said with a shake of his head. “Wish mine went down as well as that.” 

Dele looked down at the child in his arms and felt protection bloom in his chest. He’d never had a mothering instinct before in his life, but here, now, this was as close as he’d ever gotten. 

 

Their game was to kick off at three. 

An hour before kick off they arrived on the bus, Dele with the baby carrier in one hand, his wash bag in the other. Eric had pooped twice and peed three, and every time Dele had screamed and held the baby at arm’s length until one of the dads took pity on him and changed him. They’d switched little Eric to the mini kit for the game, and he waited happily as Dele pulled his own on, talking away to the baby in the chair like it was his best friend. 

“So they’ve been on good form, which you know, or you did know, before. But I think we can beat them. What do you think?” 

Baby Eric clapped happily, his enormous eyes creasing all the way up. Then it was time to head out, to play. Dele picked Eric up so that he was facing forward, his legs slung over a forearm and his chest pinned back with Dele’s left hand. He stuffed a bottle of formula in his pocket and carried baby Eric out to the touchline, handing him to Poch with the bottle of milk and bouncing off before Poch could protest. 

Dele spent the game glancing over at the baby in the sidelines, pleasantly surprised to see that Poch was carrying him around as he walked the box, bouncing him as he requested player changes, holding him up and blowing raspberries at him at lulls in the game. 

Dele almost had to wrestle the baby back at half time, his task made easier by the fact that Eric was fighting to get to him, pushing out of Poch’s arms and reaching determinedly for Dele. Dele was sweaty and dirty but baby Eric didn’t mind, pressing in close with a heart rending cuddle. He nearly asked to be subbed off for the second half - Eric was sleepy and he only seemed to go down when Dele was holding him. It felt like a crime to have to hand him off again, especially when he was so sweet and soft. 

But he didn’t, in the end, giving him back to Poch and running off to his position on the field. They won, which was nice, and Dele could see baby Eric clapping ecstatically. Maybe he knew what was going on, maybe he had no bloody idea, but either way it was painfully adorable and Dele made his way right over, taking him carefully and tossing him up in the air a couple of times. 

He carried him around the pitch, chuckling when Eric fussed every time someone came too close to them. Dele gave Eric a victory lap and then brought him down the tunnel, bringing him along as he changed and showered. 

When he was dressed Dele gathered up the clothes, formula, nappies and wipes in the spurs bag Harry provided earlier. The lads asked him if he wanted one of them to take Eric for the night, but Dele declined, feeling he’d be unable to relax knowing the baby was out there somewhere missing him. Kane came to the car to help Dele fasten Eric up safely. 

“We’ll phone his mum tomorrow, yeah?” 

Dele didn’t want to, not really, but he nodded. “Yep. First thing.” 

“Okay. Call me if you need anything - anything at all.” 

By the time Dele got home Eric was sleeping soundly in his carrier. He lifted him from the car and up the stairs, changing him from his mini kit to his onesie. Dele built a wall out of four pillows and put baby Eric in the middle of his bed so he couldn’t roll off the mattress. He built himself a makeshift bed on the floor out of pillows and blankets and, after an exhausting day, managed to finally fall asleep himself. 

— 

Dele woke in the night to the infuriating sound of snoring. He groaned and pulled a pillow over his face, and when that did nothing to silence the noise he sat up and shouted “BE QUIET!” 

And then he saw a foot hanging off the end of his bed. An adult foot, not a baby foot. Eric’s foot. 

“Eric!” He exclaimed, jumping on the bed. There indeed was his best friend - aged 25, enormous, decidedly NOT a baby. “You’re back!” 

“What?” Eric grunted, peering through the dark. “What’s going on?” 

“You were a baby, and now you’re not!!” Dele shouted, slapping Eric between the shoulder blades. “You’re big!” 

“Oh my god, shut up, Del, s’the middle of the night,” Eric slurred, reaching out an enormous hand and pulling Dele down, into his chest. “Go to sleep.” 

Dele let himself be pulled down happily. It was his turn now to cuddle in, and he sighed contentedly, the heat of Eric’s body sending him off back to sleep.


End file.
